reasons why twillight is horrible
by theisdarkstar
Summary: last one got deleted idk why I was reading some why twilight is better than... posts and some of the reasons were such bull that I had to respond no flames!
1. Chapter 1

A/N

**so I was recently searching up twilight sucks on google, cause those rants are always fun to read and I came across a "why twilight is better than harry potter" post and being the potter fan I am, read it **

**And the points weren't even good, so I'm going to write the obligatory anti twilight rant.**

**This may become a multi chapter list, or just stay a one shot either way have fun**

** BTW all of the points that I rant about are quoted from sites, the site address is in brackets beside the point**

**No flames, this is written for fun, don't like don't read.**

1."The hidden meanings in the title, TWILLIGHT- light means good, good means pure, pure means Jesus. this title teaches us to love Jesus Christ" ( . ?n=6877)

This is the biggest amount of bullshit I have ever heard, twilight does not mean light, it is the time of day when the sun sets, not to mention bringing religion into an argument about books is completely uncalled for, what are you a Jehovah's witness? also the meaning of the title does not indicate how good the book is, the hunger games could have been named twilight and no one would have cared because it's still a good book regardless of what it's called.

2."Its british. British stuff is never as good as American stuff. America is the top country in the world. I mean, im not trying to brag or anything, but its just a fact that America is the most advanced and powerful country in the world. Twilight is American, Harry Potter is british. Therefore, by logic, Twilight is better. And just because Twilight is american automatically makes it higher quality, just because its America, no matter what you think of the book. I mean, they fought against us and LOST in WW2, right? So seriously, they just aren't as good." ( question/index?qid=20130311092823AAuDLMU)

What does where it comes from have to do with how good it is? If you repeated that statement and replaced country with religion, British with Christian, and American with protestant we'd have world war three on our hands! Not to mention that America is the most advanced but also the most polluting, war fighting, wasting country in the world! The fact that it came from America has nothing to do with quality.

3."the cover of the books are drawn beautifully " ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

… all of the twilight book covers are pictures if you haven't noticed, not to mention that cover art is not considered a valid point for how good a book is, does the saying "never judge a book by its cover" ring a bell?

4. "creative and great ideas of the vampire form" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

admittedly the term "vampire" means many different things in different series due to artistic license, however you cannot make vampires unrecognizable, vampires do not sparkle Alex Louis Armstrong does, not vampires . Also, the fact that Stephenie Meyer tried to explain vampires with science is another blunder, sure in some cases it works but her explanation was bullshit, I mean venom really?

5."the mashup name renesmee is so creative" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

no, it's not creative its lazy and sounds like a name a preschooler would give her imaginary friend

6."she replaces small simple words to long big words for people to be more educated not use simple words everyone can understand" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Meyer didn't use large words to "educate" the reader, she used them to make Bella seem smart. Also, when I read a book I don't want to need to get a thesaurus to be able to understand what the author meant, not to mention the book is targeted at "tweens" so using high end vocabulary should not be a point for the book.

7."the emotions are deep in twilight and is a wide imaginative world" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

What emotions? And last I checked forks, Washington is not wide nor imaginative, it's a small town in Washington where it always rains.

8."twilight is read by a massive audience" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

so is harry potter, the mortal instruments, Shakespeare, Percy Jackson, and the hunger games all better books than twilight. a massive audience does not mean quality, just good advertising.

villains are unrealistic. They torture and kill people for FUN and that's SICK! They basically have no meaning behind what they do, they only do it for fun and pleasure, what kind of sick people do that? Volturi is a much more realistic and horryfing villian than Voldemort who is a laughable character with a weird laugh. He looks like he has leukimia." ( question/index?qid=20130311092823AAuDLMU)

dear god, I don't even know where to start with this one. for one, the volturi are less horrifying than death eaters because they aren't villain material, they're pretty much the vampire equivalent of the FBI, in fact it could be argued that the Volturi are just doing their job and that the Cullen's are in fact the bad guys for breaking vampire law by telling Bella that their vampires. also what kind of villain doesn't torture and kill people for fun? it's pretty much in the job description, and the fact that they have no reason for killing and torturing makes them all the more villainous! and who gives a fuck about realism, were talking about wizards and fairy vampire wannabes here!

10."The Twilight movies have better music. The soundtracks got me into all these awesome Indian and rock bands music, and all the HP soundtracks are just classical melodies composed by Beethoven and Mozart and other American composers from the 19th century. No words or lyrics! Who the f*ck listens to classical music anyway?" ( question/index?qid=20130311092823AAuDLMU)

sonic '06, the video game that nearly killed the sonic franchise because of how bad it was had an amazing soundtrack too. also the music fits with the theme, harry potter is an adventure in the nineteen hundreds, twilight takes place in 2005 and has a rock soundtrack that is unbearably out of place in a movie where the setting is a town where it never stops raining.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Well, I didn't expect this to be popular with the twilight fans, I honestly expected my first reviews to be flames. So thanks to those who reviewed, especially the twilight fans who were reasonable and didn't flame me.**

**To clear things up, I don't hate the idea of twilight (vampire falls in love with human ect…), the idea has been used many times in pretty amazing books. I just hate how much Meyer messed it up.**

**we're treading a bit into anime and other book territory here, but please bear with me.**

**and finally I don't own twilight, if I did the vampire thing would have a better explenation than "venom" and Bella wouldn't be a Mary sue, and instead of the sparkling Cullen's, it would be the Armstrong family .**

"J.K Rowling copied twilight when naming sirus black, they didn't even change the name, and there both werewolves!" ect… ect… ect…

*faceplam* so this is a really common bull argument against harry potter simply becuse sirius was first mentioned in the sorcerer's stone, back in I don't know 2001 or so and twilight came out around 2006, so if anything Meyers copying Rowling here.

12. "Twilight books arent as long as Harry Potter books you dont have to sit there and read page aftert page of nothingness" ( clubs/twilight-series/articles/83523/title/why-twi light-better-than-harry-potter-good-reasons)

… twilight: 500 pages or so, 150 pages of nothing where the characters are getting introduced and about 50 pages of actual plot and the other 300 pages are full of physical descriptions of Edward.

harry potter and the sorcerer's stone: 216 pages, about 20 of character development, 5 of dumbledores eccentricity and the rest is plot and humor.

also, it's worth mentioning that most of the twilight books are longer than the harry potter books.

and WHAT THE HELL DOES BOOK LENGTH HAVE TO DO WITH QUALITY?

"Twilight has a happy ending no one dying and thats what a good book is always about." " ( clubs/twilight-series/articles/83523/title/why-twi light-better-than-harry-potter-good-reasons)

NO just NO, a good book is not characterized by lack of character death. when a character dies, it shows danger in conflict, betrayal within the ranks of trusted friends, drama, a struggle you know, THE POINT OF THE BOOK. where would Katniss be if rue hadn't died? would harry have gone after the hourcuxes if Dumbledore hadn't died? a death is symbolic in the way that it affects other characters in ways that the character that died couldn't have while alive.

13 "Twilight unlike Harry Potter shows real depression unlike Harry who always complains his parents died and he didnt even know them or when his uncle. or whoever died he was happy in a couple of days.  
Bella she was really and truly depressed and HURT." ( clubs/twilight-series/articles/83523/title/why-twi light-better-than-harry-potter-good-reasons)

yes, bella was depressed because her boyfriend of 6 weeks dumped her whereas harry watched his godfather, mentor, and his least favorite teacher die. Of course bella has the right to complain about her "horrible" life. also, the reason bella was depressed was because she had no friends outside of the Cullen's, harry had many friends to help him.

Also in WAR you have no time to be depressed.

14 "Twilight teaches us that we can be mature about bad situations and that we dont have to "fight" things out we can sit down and talk about things like mature adults." ( clubs/twilight-series/articles/83523/title/why-twi light-better-than-harry-potter-good-reasons)

Yes, try to reason with the psychotic pureblood supremacists who declare open war on the wizarding populace and are willing to commit genocide, brilliant idea!

15. "Twilight unlike Harry Potter has SEX. something to get a mature reader into." ( clubs/twilight-series/articles/83523/title/why-twi light-better-than-harry-potter-good-reasons)

You see, harry potter was in the middle of a WAR so sorry if they don't have time to drop everything and hump like rabbits.

not to mention twilight was aimed at 14-17 year olds, so you want underage readers to read erotica, good idea.

16. "the actors/characters in twilight were hot!" ect… ect… ect...

but they have no emotion or character development, not to mention Bella is the worst mary sue I have seen in a while, I have no real problems with god like Mary sues (Alucard from hellsing for example) but self-insertion mary sues like bella are horrible.

**A/N**

**so I recently read an article talking about how twi-hards were attacking people who insulted twilight, even going as far as attempted murder in broad daylight.**

**... I don't know if I should laugh or be disturbed **

** /5204316/twilight-fans-stab-choke-and-beat-haters- into-submission **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**im floored.**

**I have not received a single flame although 2 of my reviewers were self-professed twilight fans.**

**So thanks for that.**

**A lot of harry potter points in here, just saying. (19- 26)**

**For point 18, I rant quite a bit about a few anime series, just a warning.**

17. "bella is a role model (she teaches people to hold on to their friendships and stuff and keep their secrets)" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Bella tired to kill herself after her boyfriend of 3 weeks broke up with her… please tell me how she's a good role model. Also, what friendships? she only hangs around the Cullen's after she falls in "love" with Edward, and often describes her friends as shallow and heartless. that's not someone id want to look up to. also keeping secrets from friends is never a good idea.

18. "the evil people are villains for a reason like the newborn army in eclipse who almost killed the whole city of Seattle or the volturi (they are not evil evil they have some good in them)" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

… the evil people in a text being evil for a reason is regular. not to mention I have seen multiple animes and books where you feel sorry for the "villain". take the anime bleach for example, the top soldier in the arrancar army (don't ask) only joined the "bad guys" because he was so strong that he killed everyone around him, causing him to become so lonely that he splits himself into two to end his solitude, the only reason he joined the bad guy was to find comrades that could be around him without dying. He was a well written (er drawn) character that you could connect with, everyone was the kid that was left alone at least once in their lifetimes, so when he died you felt sad that he had to die because he was such an immersive character. Twilight on the other hand, has a vampire FBI agency and an army of animal like vampires that have no control over their instincts.

19. "its won mtv movie awards for the best movie of the year when new moon came out and the [harry potter and the]halfblood prince it was twilight who won the best movie of the year."

( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Who here takes MTV seriously anymore? Also, HP and the halfblood prince was arguably the worst movie of the HP franchise.

20. "Real people do not have courage like harry and his trio. (another situation) In twilight, all the characters , as much of their pride were realistic in the fact that they were frightened from their enemie. Like for not one second was Harry ever scared of Voldemort and was strong and brave. Harry Pottter always wins his battles. Victory is sooo cliche, Twilight reconcises defeat(in small doeses), which is always good to read."

( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

first things first, (my OCD had to comment on this) how bad can you be at spelling? and the whole point of being a Gryffindor was to show courage, not to mention when it comes down to it harry was afraid of voldy, did you miss the end of the goblet of fire? and did you miss the part where DUMBLEDORE DIES AND VOLDEMORT TAKES OVER HOGWARTS? I mean honestly, the characters in twilight never lost, hell they never fought, look at the ending of the last twillight book and tell me where the battle is that took more than 50 lives? Oh wait, it doesn't exist! and no one wants defeat in small doses, when we see the main character loose, we want to see him fail utterly, loose everything he ever cared for and still drag himself up to fight another day! (sorry, had to get that out of my system)

21. "Bella and Edward - The Average Girl Gets the Hot Guy Bella Swan, the main character, (played by Kristen Stewart) drives an ugly truck and doesn't dress with any style. She loves to read and is an introvert, not a cheerleader. Her friends are few and her home life is less than stellar. However, it is she who Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson) is attracted to." ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

… how does what kind of car you drive determine if you can get a boyfriend or not? Style, who needs style? I know a dude who has ridiculously long hair and has been called a "babe" by another guy and he has more friends than bella. Loving to read doesn't mean shit, most of the girls I know love to read and have really healthy relationships with their peers. Her friends are few because she's an introvert not because she drives an ugly tuck. and edward "falls in love" with her because she's a Mary sue. And Mary sues always get the girl/guy.

22. "Edward loves Bella to the exclusion of all else. He protects her, worries about her and takes care of her. He is devoted to her and considers her needs far above his own. In Twilight, Edward tells Bella, "You are my life." In New Moon (the second book in the series) he says, "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world." And in Eclipse (the third book) Edward declares, "You are my first priority."" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Gollum had the same feelings about the ring in lord of the rings, and look what happened to him!

23. "it was a love story... And people can relate to love more than magic, which is a totally nonexistent thing" ( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

YES YOU CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO A STORY WHERE A TEENAGER FALLS IN LOVE WITH A 101 YEAR OLD FAIRY MASQURADING AS A VAMPIRE MORE THAN YOU CAN RELATE TO A STORY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND WAR.

24. "There's less cursing in Twilight/ it doesn't get kids into cursing"

( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Yes, erotica is better for kids than a book that has the word bitch once, genius logic my dear madam.

25. "Twilight doesn't encourage setting your teachers on fire"

( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

It encourages breaking and entering the house of the girl you have a crush on.

26. "In Twilight, the Teachers don't hit their students"

( clubs/harry-potter-vs-twilight/forum/post/85554/ti tle/3000-reasons-why-twilight-better-than-harry-po tter)

Never once in the harry potter books has a teacher hit a student (other than umbridge, but she doesn't count). And in twilight the "vampires" that want to "help" humans instead of researching a cure for cancer or something equally productive, go to school over and over again.


End file.
